Marrow
by evil Jy
Summary: SamJess & SamSarah. Both only implied. Six passages in Sam's life, from birth to...


Pairing: Sam/Jess and Sam/Sarah (both only implied and this will be the closest I will ever get to write het)

Spoilers: season one  
Warnings: wee bit of violence. not graphic  
Summary: 6 passages in Sam's life. From birth to...

Beta: KaijaWest & Ve

Dedicated To: Charlie as proof that I can write something where Sam doesn't end up looking like an idiot.  
Author's Note: chapter titles taken from 'Bad To The Bone'

Marrow

1. _The head nurse spoke up, and she said leave this one alone. She could tell right away, that I was bad to the bone._

John knew he must been sporting the stupidest grin when the head nurse – Martha her name tag said – put the little bundle in his arms. His second son had been born only a few minutes ago. John still couldn't believe his luck as he looked down on the sleeping boy in his arms.

"I tell you to look after this one, Mr. Winchester. He can do great things if he only sets his mind to it," Martha said before going back into the room to check up on Mary Winchester.

2. _I broke a thousand hearts, before I met you. I'll break a thousand more baby, before I am through._

This was normal, right? Talking with the girl you loved, and planned to marry, about the lovers you had before. Sam didn't know but he hoped he wasn't making a mistake by honestly answering Jess' question.

"There were some girls. Not many, though. And it never got serious with any of them either. Not that I didn't want it to but we never stayed long enough in one place to give me a chance at something more than just casual."

Jess had that look on her face, like she wanted to ask more questions, wanted him to elaborate but she wouldn't ask because she knew he wouldn't answer. His family and his childhood were off limits but for the parts he offered up by himself.

3. _I wanna be yours pretty baby, yours and yours alone. I'm here to tell ya honey, that I'm bad to the bone._

Sam missed Jess, missed her so badly. But she was dead and he knew, no matter what he did nothing would bring her back; not even killing the demon would change that.

Sarah, though, was very much alive.

Dean kept egging him on to make a move, to forget his guilt over Jess and to 'live a little'. It felt so wrong to him. But whenever he looked at Sarah the image of Jess fled his mind and all he could think of was how very much alive Sarah was.

Kissing her had felt so good. So much better than waking up drenched in his own sweat after dreaming of Jess going up in flames, a look of accusation forever etched into her features.

4. _And when I walk the streets Kings and Queens step aside._

And there stood the Demon in his path. Mocking him with his brother's face. Taunting him to shoot and to end three existences with one bullet. Sam knew what Dean would say now if his brother still had control over his vocal cords. He had said it before so many times. 'Kill the demon if you get the chance, and don't dare to hesitate just because the fucker hijacked my body. Sam, if he ever does I will already be gone because I will be dead before I give him the chance to hurt you through me.'

With tears in his eyes Sam pulled the trigger, watching the bullet rush towards the spot were his brother's heart used to be. But before the bullet reached its intended target Sam's vision blurred, the demon moved and then the world turned black.

He had missed.

5. _Every woman I meet they all stay satisfied. I wanna tell ya pretty baby well ya see I make my own._

Blood dripped of the blade and ended on the floor in thick, red splashes. Sam looked down on the woman lying at his feet. She had been the third in as many weeks, his dad would be pleased. At least Sam hoped so since he had to make up for many years of killing His creatures. But Sam was doing good now, sacrificing the women who dared to flirt with him, who fell for his look of innocence.

But he wondered how many more he would need to kill until He would forgive him and take him back into his arms. 20? 30? 100? Sam didn't care, he would kill as many women as needed, there was no other desire in him but to be a good son.

6. _I'm here to tell ya honey That I'm bad to the bone._

Bobby stood before the four graves, the whole of the family Winchester. True, Sam's body was still out there walking the world. But Bobby knew that both Dean and John would consider Sammy to be long dead, lost to the demon, lost to the darkness.

Sam had been such a good boy, such a sweet child. Now all that was left of him was cruelness and bloodlust. Bobby feared the day the boy might come to take him, too. He had heard stories about the way he tortured his victims to death. All in the name of the demon he now called father.

End


End file.
